Blog

     December 4, 2023

     If you’ve made it to my blog, you might be wondering how I approach working with you in therapy. To fully answer that question, I would need to meet you personally, know what goals you have, understand who you are and what you struggle with, and from that create a path in collaboration with you. Simply put, I create a new therapy with each new person I see. Because the “best” approach and tools is what works for you as an individual.

Part of my approach is being with you as a non-judgmental person who strives to understand you and see you in your best light. We will work with your strengths and together we will face your struggles. The struggles you are experiencing and how you respond come from your unique history and what you’re doing to try and deal with what life throws at you.

We approach the struggles of our life based on what we’ve experienced, what we know to be our options, and what we believe about ourselves, other people, and the world. I understand that life doesn’t have a manual and that we do the best we can with what we have at the time. Sometimes these tools and understandings are great and help us get through situations. Sometimes they hold us back or make things worse for us. I am here to help you figure out what could be made better.

This is not to say I don’t use established counseling theories. I intentionally use evidence based approaches to ensure that my clients are met with a high standard of care. My approach is rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, mindfulness, and existential therapy. These theories offer their own strengths that I use to help counseling work for you as a client. What matters to me is that it works for you and that you get what you want out of counseling. To do this, I must encounter you in the here-and-now. Be present with you as you are in this moment.

The Existential approach. What’s that?

One of the consistent questions I get about my approach is “what is existential therapy?” Existential therapy is an approach to counseling that focuses on moving towards authenticity in life and creating meaning. This is done through making choices that foster that meaning with a fuller awareness of how we find ourselves as human beings. To do this, we directly consider the Givens of Existence in pursuit of these choices.

Okay, but what are The Givens of Existence?

Sounds kind of heady, right? It certainly can be. In human terms, it means facing some of the brass tax of our human existence. These are that death is part of life, that we will experience isolation, that we have freedom and responsibility, and that we will wrestle with meaninglessness.

To live a life towards authenticity, we do so by taking into account what we actually face as human beings. Which can sound heavy, I know. But it’s also the doorway to living an incredibly vital and connected life. One that is firmly rooted in the meaning you create for it. A life where you can leave it all on the field. Where you can love with abandon and live for what matters most to you.

Whoa. That sounds like a lot. Do we have to go there?

Only if you want. Counseling is about you and what you want out of it. And if you do want to go there, you’ll be delighted to know that I both (a) have a pretty good sense of humor and (b) am a pretty laid back, non-judgmental, curious, low-key kind of guy. We would go at your own pace and with your goals in mind. If you’re stuck in anxiety and depression, these may be not at the top of your list of concerns and I understand that. I often use CBT, mindfulness, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to approach counseling and am very comfortable with any of these approaches.

Ultimately, what matters to me is that you are comfortable and that you are getting what you want out of counseling.

It was nice meeting you. I hope that you decide to reach out. I look forward to our work together. As always, I’ll look for you in your best light.

Luke